Real Men Change Diapers

Chances are that the title of this post confuses you, especially if you’re a man. It’s certainly not meant as any sort of a lude reference to infantilism. On the contrary, it is an affirmation of what, in my opinion, really makes a man worthwhile. Allow me to explain.

In the realms of general media and popular opinion, men are often out to prove their manliness. What this is, exactly, is debatable, but generally refers to a man’s personal worth and the degree of pride that he can or should feel about it. Some common measures of manliness include physique, courage, and verility. To be a “real man” is supposedly synonymous with facing danger or performing selfless acts of heroism. So it seems, in a more general sense, that manliness is a measure of capability, confidence, and responsibility.

All too often, in my opinion, these sentiments are misrepresented. Would-be “real men” try to prove themselves by posturing, fighting, exercising to excess, throwing themselves into dangerous situations, and otherwise overcompensating for lack of self-esteem. They ignore the one most significant method to prove one’s manliness, not only to others, but to oneself. A real man is a good father.

Perhaps now the title is beginning to make more sense, but let me clarify further. Many definitions of manliness miss their mark by focusing on one aspect of fatherhood while missing the bigger picture. Fatherhood naturally begins with procreation, so a father must be verile. Fathers are protectors, both of their mates and their children, and so they must be able to face danger. Fathers are also providers, which means they must be hardy and capable of supporting their families. These are traits that we naturally find desirable because they facilitate the evolutionary role of men.

Part of the problem is that society has evolved faster than our species. Humans no longer live in hunter-gatherer tribes, and so our roles are no longer clear. We feel a need to prove our worth as men without recognizing what really dictates it, and so we have developed these confusing notions of what we should be. The truth, however, is much simpler.

This is not to suggest that men who don’t fit these criteria aren’t real men. Certainly the definition requires a lot of expansion in the modern era. The point here is that our self-worth is driven on an instinctive level by our ability to be good fathers, and all of the qualities associated with that lend to our fulfillment.

So, I say, real men change diapers because real men aren’t afraid of fatherhood. They recognize it as their natural role and do their best to exemplify the qualities of a good father, whether or not they are fathers themselves. Those who follow instinct along its natural course can and very often do feel fulfilled in a way that other men fail to appreciate. I personally can attest that being a father is the most important aspect of my life, a fact which I didn’t fully realize until experiencing it for myself.