I Voted

Or so the little sticker on my shirt tells me. This was actually the first time I’ve ever gotten a chance to vote. I had planned to do so for the 2004 presidentials, but, what with being in the hospital from 4:00 am until 11:30 pm on election day, let’s just say I was indisposed.

My first reaction to the whole democratic process was how easy it turned out to be. You walk in, give them your information, get a ballot, fill in some bubbles, and stick it in a machine. It’s even simpler if you’re lucky enough to get electronic voting booths. The term “lowest common denominator” comes to mind, since the process is streamlined enough that even the least intelligent people can get their vote in. That must be a real advantage for the Republicans.

Oops, did I say that out loud? I guess my party affiliation must be showing. Yes, much to my Republican parents’ chagrin, I’m a Democrat. There was a time when I stood on the Democratic side of the fence only as the lesser of two evils. After recently reviewing the Democratic Party’s stances on politic issues, however, I simply couldn’t deny that I agree with them on pretty much every point. I suppose there are worse labels to adopt for oneself.

But I digress. I was also taken aback by the lengths to which political campaigns actually go. Sure, I’ve seen the commercials, billboards, junk mail, phone solicitations, etc., etc., but the women with the umbrella threw me for a loop. Yes, it happened to be raining when we went to the polls and there was a woman in the parking lot ferrying unsuspecting voters inside from their cars. Naturally, I thought well of her at first. She appeared to be nothing more than a selfless, helpful young lady. It almost brought a smile to my face that someone could be nice so spontaneously.

I’ve never felt more gullible. For the few seconds we were under her umbrella (which seemed oddly forced, considering the three of us had our own, even if it was a bit overcrowded), she told us of how several of the candidates on the ballot had gone to church with her as children, how they were wonderful people, and even how one of them pushed her wheelchair-bound grandmother to church with her every Sunday. Trust me, it’s true; this is too absurd to make up. There was yet another campaigner waiting for us with fliers in hand a few feet away, just in front of the “No campaigning beyond this point” sign.

To say that these are cheap, last-minute tactics is a gross understatement. This sort of thing is more likely to turn me off to potential candidates, as they’re obviously not confident enough in their own merits to expect a win. I feel the same about smear tactics; they’re just more cheap tricks to winning the game of politics. Perhaps I’m an idealist, but shouldn’t we be voting on the candidates we believe to be the best? You know, those who most accurately represent our beliefs and interests, not those who wheel their grannies to church?

At any rate, it was an interesting experience and one I plan to repeat in future years. To all conservatives who choose to conceal their true motives beneath an umbrella of innocent courtesy, I have only one thing to say…

I’m a Toydarian Democrat.
Jedi mind tricks Republican propaganda tricks don’t work on me.