The Partnership of Marriage
If you’ve been following the recent developments in the Family section of the site, you’ve probably been wondering what other new category I was planning on creating. Well, if the subject matter was any indication, the answer was probably pretty obvious; my relationship with my wife, from our early days as boyfriend and girlfriend through our engagement and into our marriage, has always been a cornerstone of Project Paradox. And, like the photo album, I recently decided that it was long overdue for an update.
To kick it off, just like I think of parenthood as a journey, I see marriage as a partnership. It shares a lot in common with a business partnership. Two individuals are joined together in common interest, sharing an equal stake in the success or failure of their mutual endeavor. Like any other partnership, there is a contract involved and the expectation that each will put in his or her fair share of resources to make it work.
Now, I realize that this is a loveless description of marriage, but I’ve always found it to be the most adaptive analogy. Love is certainly important to a happy marriage, but it’s not the only factor involved. In fact, adopting a purely romantic mindset has been shown to result in poor conflict management, which can negatively influence both marital longevity and satisfaction. Much as popular culture would disagree, love is not all you need.
By approaching your marriage as an almost business-like partnership, however, you accept an active role; you are professionally responsible for your marriage’s success. Being a good partner involves communication, willingness to compromise, shared goal-setting, and effective conflict resolution, all of which will make you a better spouse. The stakes are more emotional than financial, of course, but I think the similarity is clear.
I realize it’s an underdeveloped metaphor, so I’ll be sure to refine it as I go along. I invite you to take a look over my old research paper on marriage; it’s an informative, albeit scientific, read. And, of course, be sure to check back into this section from time to time as my wife and I attempt to piece out what’s made our marriage so successful.