Making Time for Each Other

My wife and I have been dealing with a lot lately, what with new jobs and daycare and such. It’s been frustrating juggling all of our priorities. Little things like, say, the laundry have occasionally been neglected as we’ve adjusted. Despite the hectic nature of it all, we’re still quite happy with one another. That’s because, over the years we’ve been married, we’ve never forgotten one important rule to marital satisfaction: Always find time for each other.

It can be hard. I know there are days when I come home from work and just want to take a nap or indulge in some World of Warcraft. My wife is often kind enough to let me have my “me time” in lieu of spending time with her (especially since she’s having her own “me time” doing other things). It’s necessary for every person’s sanity and we both recognize that.

Still, at the end of the day, we always reserve a few hours for each other. We’re not usually doing anything elaborate or romantic, watching TV together mostly. The activity is relatively unimportant, to be honest, since we’ll just end up sitting and discussing our days no matter what we’re doing. The point is that we both make the conscious concession to stop doing something we might rather be doing separately to do something together as a couple.

We’ve been doing this so long that it just comes naturally to us, but it occurred to me how some couples might suffer because one or both people forget to find time for each other. Who is your spouse if not somebody with whom you share your daily life? If you’re not talking and enjoying activities with each other, you’re basically just living together. Last time I checked, that better describes a roommate than a spouse.

So here’s the advice to those who need it. Make an hour or two a day for each other. Every now and again, make a full day. One expert recommends fifteen hours a week, but I wouldn’t sweat the timing; the point is to spend a reasonable amount of time together, not track it with a stop watch.

If you’re at a loss for things to do, read some suggestions on how to spend your time together (I especially liked #7 ). As I mentioned previously, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate; just taking a walk or sitting and talking is fine. Quality time can certainly involve quality activities, even to the point of a full-fledged date, but it doesn’t have to.

The point here is that maintaining your marriage takes time and effort. If you don’t make time together a priority, your relationship will suffer. If you make time for each other on a regular basis, though, you’ll reap the rewards of a healthy, happy relationship for years to come.