Thankfully, I came across a super-simple program called ToddlerTrap (via Lifehacker). Just run the program and all keyboard and mouse input is disabled. Your toddler can hit buttons and keys all day long, but they’re unlikely to bullseye the red X that exits the program. It even captures the last key entered, so you know whether or not your little rascal has been up to his or her old tricks.

It’s one of those oft-overlooked benefits of health insurance. My provider offers prize incentives to policy-holders who perform certain wellness activities, not the least of which being exercise. The more I exercise, the more points I accumulate. Once I reach a certain threshold, I get to choose a reward.

It’s obvious how this contributes to my health, but how does this tie into parenting? Simple. I just turn around and give the prize to my son. So far, I’ve qualified to get him a kite and a soccer ball for about two months of exercise. I do my rounds on the stationary bike five times a week; my son gets free toys and learns that regular exercise can be rewarding.

Sure, they’re not really “free” prizes when you consider the fact that I’m paying an insurance premium. Still, I’d be paying for the plan regardless of the rewards program. The way I see it, I’m getting added value out of an otherwise necessary expense.

If you’re interested in trying this approach, I suggest you check what sort of incentive programs your health insurance provider offers. Trust me, it makes exercising regularly much easier when you’re rewarded, especially when that reward is a happier child.

Obviously, this is a very inefficient system. News of a good gift idea may not spread past the first person it reaches, leaving us scratching our heads about what to get each other. Add to this the fact that several members of our family are chronically difficult to buy for (I’m looking at you, Dad) and it’s anyone’s guess what to buy. Gift cards, anyone?

Making on Online Family Christmas List

To combat this problem, I came up with a modern, web 2.0 solution using Google Docs. To those who’ve never used it, think of it as an online version of Microsoft Word. You can create and edit a document directly in your browser, then share this document with others and give them permission to edit it, too.

Here’s how to start your own online family Christmas list.

1. Go over to Google Docs. If you don’t have an account, you’ll have to create one. Don’t worry; it’s quick, easy, and completely free.
    
2. Create a new document and name it “{Last Name} Family Christmas List {Year}”, substituting your family’s last name and the year as appropriate. Mine, for example, is named “Ward Family Christmas List 2007″.
    
3. Write the rules at the top so everyone knows how to use it (see below). Then write every family member’s name on its own line.
    
4. Go to the “Share” tab. Click the “As collaborators” radio button and write every family member’s name in the box. Then click “Invite collaborators.” Everyone on the list will receive an email inviting them to view and edit the document.

How the Online Family Christmas List Works

The rules couldn’t be much simpler. Be sure to copy and paste them into your Christmas list so everyone knows what to do.

Rule #1. If you’d like something for Christmas, add it to the list under your name. Give as little or as much detail as you like.

Rule #2. If you have a good idea for a gift for someone else, add it under his or her name.

Rule #3. If you buy an item for someone else, highlight, strike through it, or otherwise mark it as bought so they don’t get it twice.

That’s it. The only real drawback is the slight reduction in surprise factor, but you’re always free to buy something not on the list, and keeping it from the children’s eyes is pretty easy. The important thing is that everyone can communicate exactly what they want to everyone else without relying on hint passing.

What are you waiting for? The sooner you start your own online family Christmas list, the sooner you can stop guessing about what to buy them!

P.S. Obviously, this method works great for any gift-giving holiday. Feel free to use it for birthdays, Hannukah, or whatever else you find useful.

The question of whether to get married sooner or later is one a lot of young couples face. From the perspective of the couple, the question seems silly. After all, if you’re already committed to spending the rest of your life together, why shouldn’t you get married? Popular opinion, on the other hand, holds that you’re not yet mature enough to make such a life-altering decision. By your late teens and early 20′s, they say, you’ve only recently become an adult, so you have to give yourself time to “sew your wild oats” before committing.

As a young husband, this was the sort of attitude I had to face a lot. I’ll admit that I met it with skepticism. After all, despite everyone’s protests, my wife and I have turned out just fine. We’ve been married for four wonderful years, had one child, and plan on having another. We can’t imagine the rest of our lives without each other. We’ve had to deal with some rough times, for sure, but they’ve only made us grow closer.

Unfortunately, in doing the research to back up our anecdotal success, I’ve managed to convince myself that popular opinion may be right, at least partly. There is evidence to suggest that personality can and, in many cases, does shift considerably through your mid-20′s. I hate to admit it, but the, “You haven’t grown up yet,” mentality isn’t completely bogus.

More significant, however, are the divorce statistics. Of men and women who get divorced, over half of them got married in their late teens and early 20′s. The predictive value of this data cannot be denied; people who get married younger than 25 are at much greater risk of their marriage failing.

There are many factors that are likely involved in this trend. Young adults rarely have significant financial resources, and money troubles are a primary cause of divorce. Much as we like to romanticize things, love is not all you need. Young adults are also often involved in college settings, where irresponsibility and sexual promiscuity could damage a budding marriage.

However you look at it, most young couples are not well-prepared for married life. Mind you, I don’t want this to be the case. I’d rather tell young couples to follow their dreams, common wisdom be damned. It certainly worked for me and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

However, the fact is that I’d advise my son to wait if he were considering marriage before 25. Even if he and his girlfriend were unusually mature for their age, I would still tell them to wait. Am I a hypocrite? Certainly. The truth is, though, that my wife and I took a real risk by marrying young.

If you’re younger than 25 and considering marriage, stop and think about what you’re doing. Coming from someone who, until now, was an ardent defender of getting married young, it really isn’t a wise choice. You may end up happy like my wife and I, but you’re also very likely to regret your decision. Think long and hard about the facts before you make the leap.

Overpriced and overcharged. Not only did they charge us $248 per week (which is hardly competitive for the area), but they had the gall to make us pay a $160 activity fee for a program we never opted into. Talk about a rip-off. Trust me; you can find better service for a better price elsewhere.

Near-constant illness. This is likely a criticism of any daycare program, but we were constantly ill for the first month and a half of our son’s attendance. They certainly seem hygienic while parents are present. Given that our son was a walking Petri dish when he came home, though, I have to wonder how much they actually did to fight the spread of germs while we weren’t watching.

Illegible teacher notes. Sure, it’s wonderful to read what your child was doing all day. That is, if the teacher notes are even readable. If Primrose School is as concerned with the quality of their service as they claim to be, perhaps they should tell their teachers not to write in chicken scratch.

Unreasonable waiting period to withdraw. Tired of Primrose School at the Park? Well, expect to wait a month before they let you out of your payments. That’s right; they have a thirty-day waiting period to withdraw. My wife and I planned to withdraw our son and got hit with that little jewel hidden in fine print. Seriously, two weeks is enough notice to quit a job. Thirty days to get your child out of daycare is just ridiculous.

It’s worth mentioning that we were reasonably satisfied with how Primrose School at the Park handled our son. He’s become more socialized, developed a larger vocabulary, and progressed in his potty training since enrolling. Then again, he might’ve done many of these things on his own, but daycare did seem to have a positive effect on his development.

No, our main complaint is how poorly they handled us. The folks at Primrose School at the Park talked a good game, promised the world, and then delivered nothing but disappointment. I would only do business with them again if I had no other choice. If you’re considering them, I recommend going elsewhere.

The first was in the garage. I was working out with our weight set while he rolled around on his tricycle. I sat down after a few exercises, wiped my forehead, and stated to him, “Daddy’s pooped.” At this he rushed over to me, pointed at my butt, and said, “You pooped in your pants, Daddy?!”

Later on, as I was nearing the end of my workout, I said it again. This time I tried to explain. “It’s an expression, kiddo. When Daddy says he’s ‘pooped’, it means he’s tired.” There was a pause and a look of concern, then he replied, “No no, Daddy. Go poopy in the potty.”

After the workout, I decided it was such a nice day that I would take in some sun on the porch. Now, this isn’t something I normally (okay, ever) do, so he was confused when I took my shirt off and laid down in the sunlight. After a second or two of silence, he giggled and declared, “You’ve got sunshine on your ninnies.”

These are just examples, of course. He does this sort of thing all the time. Just the other morning, right after I finished my shower, he ran into the bathroom to tell me, “Daddy, your phone is beeping!” After pulling me into the living room (still in my boxers), he proceeded to dance about and giggle as the phone beeped. Only a toddler could get so much joy from of a voice mail reminder.

I guess I should expect this sort of thing out of my offspring. After all, at his age I was referring to myself as Super Hairy; why shouldn’t my son be just as silly as I was?

I’m curious to hear if anyone else has any humorous childhood statements to share. How about it? What are the funniest things your kids have ever said?

It can be hard. I know there are days when I come home from work and just want to take a nap or indulge in some World of Warcraft. My wife is often kind enough to let me have my “me time” in lieu of spending time with her (especially since she’s having her own “me time” doing other things). It’s necessary for every person’s sanity and we both recognize that.

Still, at the end of the day, we always reserve a few hours for each other. We’re not usually doing anything elaborate or romantic, watching TV together mostly. The activity is relatively unimportant, to be honest, since we’ll just end up sitting and discussing our days no matter what we’re doing. The point is that we both make the conscious concession to stop doing something we might rather be doing separately to do something together as a couple.

We’ve been doing this so long that it just comes naturally to us, but it occurred to me how some couples might suffer because one or both people forget to find time for each other. Who is your spouse if not somebody with whom you share your daily life? If you’re not talking and enjoying activities with each other, you’re basically just living together. Last time I checked, that better describes a roommate than a spouse.

So here’s the advice to those who need it. Make an hour or two a day for each other. Every now and again, make a full day. One expert recommends fifteen hours a week, but I wouldn’t sweat the timing; the point is to spend a reasonable amount of time together, not track it with a stop watch.

If you’re at a loss for things to do, read some suggestions on how to spend your time together (I especially liked #7 ). As I mentioned previously, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate; just taking a walk or sitting and talking is fine. Quality time can certainly involve quality activities, even to the point of a full-fledged date, but it doesn’t have to.

The point here is that maintaining your marriage takes time and effort. If you don’t make time together a priority, your relationship will suffer. If you make time for each other on a regular basis, though, you’ll reap the rewards of a healthy, happy relationship for years to come.

We’ve talked it over several times in an attempt to answer these questions. Here’s a short list of the pros and cons of daycare that we came up with.
 

Pros of Daycare

Freedom to work. By far the most common reason people consider daycare is the fact that it frees you up to go work and earn a living. In a one-parent household, daycare might not be elective for this very reason.

Good for your child’s development. It can’t be argued that exposure to peers in a learning environment is good for your child’s social and intellectual development. Especially during the formative years, such interactions can have a real positive impact on the rest of their lives.

Reduces the stress of child care. Let’s face it; our nerves can only take so much whining from a two-year-old. Especially for children with certain temperaments, having someone else watch them for a few hours a day can keep those gray hairs in check.
 

Cons of Daycare

Significant cost. Depending on where you live, daycare can be downright expensive. My wife and I, for example, determined that our finances would be better off if she kept our son home and worked part-time on the weekends than if she worked full-time and sent him to daycare. Never underestimate the cost savings of a full-time mommy.

Bad for your family’s health. I wrote a few weeks ago about coping with preschool sickness. Since then, despite our best efforts, our whole family hasn’t seen a day without at least one of us being sick. It’s worth reiterating; chronic illness is an unavoidable consequence of daycare. Even knowing this going in, the reality has been far worse than we expected.

Increases the stress of everything else. Sure, a little more income is always nice. On the other hand, we’re constantly ill and our job performance suffers. I’ve had to leave work early on several occasions to pick my son up from daycare because of a rash, a fever, etc., all of which he could only have contracted there. Thanks to our constant coughing, we rarely get a good night’s sleep. Neither of us has the time or motivation (again, because we’re sick) to clean, so the house is a wreck. Really, the list goes on, but suffice to say that daycare has only increased our stress.
 

Sorry if the list sounds biased. Our opinions of daycare have gone down over the past month. Given the fact that we’re constantly sick and our finances would be better with a few life changes, I don’t think we’ll be sticking with it for much longer.

This is by no means a critique of our daycare center or daycare in general. I recognize that, for some people, daycare can be a solution more than a problem. I don’t blame our daycare for getting my son sick. I don’t even blame them for sending him home when he’s showing signs of potentially serious contagion. For us, though, the situation has become untenable.

In the end, sending your child to daycare or not is a decision to be carefully weighed. If your finances can bear a parent at home, ask yourself how much extra income, minus the cost of daycare, the stay-at-home parent would generate if he or she went to work. Then ask yourself how much you value your health and happiness. You may find that, like us, daycare just isn’t worth the sacrifice.

It started slow at first. Our son started sniffling, then my wife. By the third or fourth day, they both had runny noses and deep coughs. I fully expected to be stricken with it next, all the while hoping I’d somehow avoid it. A week rolled by with nary a symptom and, with the two of them already recovering, I figured I was in the clear.

It finally struck me a few night’s ago harder than it had either of them. In the course of one afternoon, I went from perfectly fine to lying on the couch, clutching at a blanket for relief from my chills, and running a high fever. That’s what I get for hoping I’d avoid it, I suppose.

The whole ordeal got me to thinking about how many parents suffer through preschool illnesses on a regular basis. Our son’s preschool is a fastidiously clean environment, but I have no illusions that this will be the last illness he brings home. Bearing that in mind, I went out looking for advice on how to minimize our exposure. Most of this is common sense, but I think some parents (especially those whose children go to our son’s daycare ) could stand to give it a quick review.

Tips for Avoiding Preschool Sickness

• Wash everyone’s hands thoroughly and frequently. This is a good health guideline for everyone in general, but it should be a common practice in any household with a preschool child.
   
• Teach your child to cover his or her mouth when coughing or sneezing. This really only works if everyone does it, so make sure you’re doing your part. It’s a necessary life skill anyway, so why not start early?
   
• Rest, exercise, eat a good diet, etc. Good health practices lead to better immune function overall.
   
• Immunize your child. Yeah, I know this is a moot point, especially considering how most daycares require updated immunizations prior to enrollment anyway. Still, it’s worth mentioning since contracting one of the immunized illnesses can be life-threatening.
   
• Get flu shots for everyone. Those who know me know that I’m not a fan of flu shots. Households with preschool children, however, are especially susceptible to every illness, including the flu. Just ask yourself, is it worth your time and money if it keeps you all from suffering through the flu?
   
• Breastfeed. Okay, so it’s probably too late by the time your child is in preschool, but it’s something to think about when preparing your baby for years to come. Among its other benefits, breastfeeding tends to improve your child’s immune system.
   
• Accept that not all illnesses are preventable. No matter how much you try, there’s no avoiding the fact that your child is outside of your care for part of the day. You can talk to your preschool’s caregivers, but there’s no guaranteeing that good hygiene practices will be followed. Your child will more than likely get sick no matter how hard you try. All you can do is try to affect how often, for how long, and how severely you’ll all suffer as a result.
   

In the end, chronic illness is an unavoidable reality of preschool, one that all parents should consider when enrolling their children in daycare programs. I don’t think parents who do so are necessarily bad parents (otherwise I’d be criticizing myself ). Those who do without adopting healthier habits, though, are inevitably causing themselves and their children to suffer more than necessary.

The list above is sort of an ongoing compilation, so if you have something worth adding, please share it with the comment form below.