Unfortunate Search Ads

August 24th, 2007

To most people, search marketing is a pretty dry profession. Behind all the technical minutia and jargon, however, there’s humor that any web surfer can appreciate. For example, I came across this collection of unfortunate search ads over at SEOrefugee demonstrating how some online shopping sites reach a little too far in their ad targeting. My personal favorite is “Save On Eternal Life At Shopzilla!”

Of course, there are plenty of other examples, like “Human Remains at Amazon.com” or “Buy Cheap Babies on eBay.” Just plug “cheap” or “used” anything into Google and see what you get. It’s definitely good for a laugh.

Affiliates Are Leeches

August 22nd, 2007

With the help of my friend Adam, my company has been starting a lot of new marketing initiatives. I won’t go into details, but a lot of it involves affiliate marketing. The whole ordeal has given me a grim understanding of how the affiliate mind works and why the field has such a bad reputation.

Here is my epiphany: Affiliates are leeches. In any affiliate relationship, you should always assume that the other party is trying to cheat you, period. This is the only way to be safe and keep your costs from inflating.

What do I mean by “leeches”? Quite simply, affiliates will try everything to draw more money out of you than you should actually be paying them. If they get paid for impressions, they’ll inflate their numbers with bots. If they get paid for clicks, they’ll send fraudulent traffic. If they get paid for actions, they’ll submit spam. In any instance, they’ll try to deliver valueless marketing to increase your payout.

Like leeches, of course, you’ll never notice they’re doing it unless you’re vigilant. The only way to avoid the problem is to double- and triple-check what they’re doing. I often find myself saying, “90% of marketing is tracking,” and it’s especially true of affiliate marketing. Trust nothing an affiliate sends you until its value is confirmed. If given the choice, only pay out for marketing that produces results. Any affiliate that seems too good to be true probably is, so trust no one.

Granted, there are legitimate affiliates out there. Heck, I’m one of them. I look forward to a long and profitable relationship with Google AdSense and Text Link Ads because I don’t try to cheat them. Bear in mind, though, that I’m in the minority; I wouldn’t advise anyone to count on more than 5% of their affiliates being honest.

The advice bears repeating. If you’re using affiliate marketing to promote your website, be it through paid search like Google AdWords, third party affiliates like Commission Junction, in-house affiliate contracts, or whatever, beware. You’re swimming with leeches, and if you don’t check what they’re doing, they’ll suck you dry.

Better Than The Alternative…

August 20th, 2007

Imagine that you’re in my shoes for a moment. Your job requires you to work at one of the company’s conferences. It’s a four-day-long event that wholly consumes a weekend, during which you’ll be working about 15 hours a day. On top of that, you’re expected to work a normal week both before and after. How do you feel about it?

Okay, hold that thought. Now imagine that these conferences are all “part of the deal” of being employed, and that those who choose to complain and/or not go have historically been fired. Notably, a predecessor in your department is one of them. Remember how you felt a second ago? How have your feelings changed?

Welcome to my world. I’m not really complaining; in fact, I’m quite fond of my job and hope to keep it for some time. I just thought I’d share the leap in attitude that a bit of employment uncertainty can bring.

Granted, I’m not at all enthusiastic about the conference. It’s going to be a lot of work and time away from my family for no additional pay or time off. However, I won’t be making a fuss. Considering my participation has been attached to my continued employment, however implicitly, I accept it as a regretable fact of life and will do my duty without complaint.

The situation makes me wonder about proper incentivism, though. Isn’t it much better for morale to offer a better incentive than, “You get to keep your job”? Sure, that’s a powerful motivator for most people, but it has a tendency to breed resentment. My company doesn’t use it in any other context, thankfully, but I can’t imagine it’s a good business practice to use to any degree. After all, especially in a larger company, malcontent can be the silent killer of your bottom line.

Whatever the case, the conference itself is still a few weeks off, so I don’t need to lament it just yet. Besides, I have a good supervisor, good pay, a bit of creative freedom, and job responsibilities that are both challenging and educating, all things that aren’t easy to come by. More importantly, everyone who knows me knows how much I hate job hunting. All things considered, going to the conference is definitely better than the alternative.

What do you think? How far would you be willing to go to keep a good job?

WoW Nicotine Patch

August 18th, 2007

Apparently, graphics can really affect your gaming experience. Who knew?

Up until recently, my wife and I had been playing Warcraft on my old college computer. It was reliable, but showing its age. Nowadays, a four-year-old graphics card and a 768 MB of RAM just don’t cut it. Still, we enjoyed playing Warcraft on it, even if we had to deal with occasional lagginess and poor rendering.

Since buying our new computer, however, that’s all changed. To use a metaphor, if Warcraft on my old computer was cocaine, it’s now the equivalent of ultra-refined crack. Everything is crisp and realistic. I can even see through the water. Heck, the frame rate never dips to a point where I can perceive it even in the highest-traffic areas. It is, in a word, glorious.

I’ve spoken before about gaming addiction, but something I never understood was that many addicts must be running the game on good systems like this. If you’re having trouble cutting back or quitting, then, I would advise downgrading your graphics card and RAM. Think of it as a WoW nicotine patch. You’ll still be able to play, but it won’t provide the same wonderful detail that’s so mouth-watering. You’d be surprised what effect that can have. I certainly was.

D&D 4th Edition

August 17th, 2007

According to Slashdot, Wizards will be releasing D&D 4th edition in the next year or so. Described as “evolutionary,” it promises to be the most interactive version of the game yet, with online and offline content tied together as well as online versions of the no-longer-printed Dragon and Dungeon magazines. It’s an interesting development, although not entirely unexpected.

I’ve played Dungeons & Dragons for the past 15 years. In that time, I’ve loved every edition of the game. I read almost every supplement, I put together incredibly complex characters, and I still DM at least a few times a month.

That being said, I have mixed feelings about a new edition. It feels to me like version 3.5 hasn’t had enough time to mature. I remember getting my 3.5 core book set in early 2005, so it’s only been out for about two-and-a-half years. In that time, I’ve had some grand campaigns, and I think the system is pretty solid as-is.

Is there room for improvement? Yes, in as much as there’s always room for improvement. Still, I have to ask whether or not 3.5 is worth messing with. It isn’t just Wizards of the Coast; thousands of players and DMs have put a lot of work into their 3.5 games. Do we want to throw that all away and start from scratch, especially considering the current game isn’t that bad?

I honestly don’t know. I like my 3.5 campaigns and characters. When 4th edition comes out, I know I’ll spring for it, and I’ll probably like the changes that have been made.

I guess it just seems too soon…

Fallen TV Series

August 16th, 2007

I remember seeing the first installment of Fallen some time last year. It wasn’t earth shattering, but it was okay. I also remember being disappointed that they wouldn’t finish the series until some months later. If anyone’s got an answer for that one, please let me know, because it still doesn’t make any sense to me from a marketing standpoint. Needless to say, I enjoyed the show, puzzled over its timing, and promptly forgot about it until very recently.

The final installments have just aired and I find myself unable to feel strongly about the show as a whole. It was good, but not great. The story was better suited for a full show than a mini series. Pretty much everything else was sub-par, including the acting, the dialogue, and the action. All in all, I’d give it maybe two stars, two-and-a-half tops.

That being said, I don’t see it becoming the cult hit that it seemed designed to be. The early episode airing seemed like a stunt to build interest. How much of a fan base can you build, though, when the series is barely better than an average TV show? Frankly, I’ll be surprised if the series goes anywhere after this. I expect it will be little more than a Sunday evening cable movie from here on out.

End of the World Flash Video

August 14th, 2007

My friend Adam is very fond of the expression, “WTF?” Yes, he literally says those three letters rather than the words they represent, and I’ve been developing the same habit from listening to him. It’s a bit more polite to use the acronym, I suppose, although most people still recognize (and might be offended by) what you’re saying.

At any rate, I asked Adam where he picked up the expression and he pointed me to this “End of the World” Flash video. Basically, it’s a parody on nuclear MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction). I won’t go into too much detail, since I couldn’t really do it justice just by talking about it, but the narrator’s voices are hilarious.

Domain Name Research Tool

August 12th, 2007

Building a website involves a lot of preliminary work. Before you begin, you need a goal, a strategy for how the website will achieve that goal, and an understanding of the hurtles it will need to jump to get there. Choosing the right domain name is important to each of these steps. Will the site need to rank well in organic search? Will users need to remember the domain name? Will they need to type it in? Is your domain name of choice already taken by potential competitors? These are just a few questions to consider when performing domain name research.

Of course, brainstorming domain names and performing manual whois lookups can be frustrating and eat up valuable time. Instead of doing everything by hand, just head over to Bust a Name and plug in the keywords you’re considering for your domain. The tool will automatically combine keywords with root-level domains and check their availability. It’s a great way to save your time for other important activities, like design and deployment. ;)

In Defense of Blogging

August 10th, 2007

Let’s face it; blogging is a new medium. There are people out there who’ve never even heard the term and many more who don’t understand how it works. Most of the time, the best we bloggers can do is try to educate and wait until blogging achieves a modicum of respect with the general public.

It’s because of the rampant ignorance of blogging that the practice occasionally comes under fire from elitists of traditional media like David Bullard. I found his rant against blogging (link condom applied) via a post on Bruce Clay and couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity. To think that a self-proclaimed journalist who values quality and integrity could write something like this is simply tragic. David displays a profound ignorance of blogging to pass such harsh judgment. I’d like to piece apart his comments now and see how many of them actually apply.
 

“Most blog sites are the air guitars of journalism. They’re cobbled together by people who wouldn’t stand a hope in hell of getting a job in journalism, mainly because they have very little to say. It’s rather sad how many people think the tedious minutiae of their lives will be of any interest to anyone else.”

Here, David appears to be making the assumption that all blogs are intended to broadcast the news in the limited scope in which he defines it. No, most bloggers aren’t outstanding writers. Nor are many bloggers necessarily writing about anything of wide public interest.

But here’s a news flash: Most bloggers don’t blog because they want to be journalists. Most of us just want a soap box to stand on and talk to our friends. In fact, very few blogs are intended to have any sort of global appeal. We talk about what we care about. If you don’t want to hear it, then stop reading.
 

“Many bloggers prefer to remain anonymous…”

Hello, my name is Stephen. That’s my real name. No anonymity here. Sure, I’m only one example, but I know dozens of other bloggers who don’t hide their identities.
 

“The content of their sites is so moronic that even their best friends would disown them if they knew they were the authors.”

Quite the contrary in my case. Most of my friends read my blog because I’m the author. In fact, friends and family are the main constituents of many bloggers’ target audiences. Whether or not the content of such sites is “moronic” is really a matter of opinion. Certainly they may seem trivial or uninteresting to casual readers. For the target audience, though, their content is quite valuable.
 

“Unlike the world of newsprint, there are no rules out there in the blogosphere and that makes it a very confusing place for the consumer.”

This one I’ll agree on. The blogosphere is downright chaotic and finding valuable information can often be difficult, even for the natives.
 

“I… object to some anonymous, scrofulous nerd…”

Again, not all of us are anonymous, although I’d say a lot of us are nerds (I know I am). Props to David on the use of “scrofulous,” though; that’s definitely my word of the day. For those of you who don’t care to look it up, it basically means amoral. Morality being a subjective thing, it’s impossible to say any blog is scrofulous except in one’s own opinion. Personally, I consider David’s column to be scrofulous, but that’s just me.
 

“…pumping meaningless drivel into cyberspace at all hours of the day and night…”

Like morality, meaning is also subjective. What may seem uninteresting to you could have profound interest to someone else. It’s all about intended audience. David should consider whether or not he qualifies as such before labeling a blog’s content to be “meaningless drivel.”
 

“…simply because he can’t find a girl to sleep with him.”

It’s a fact that, on the average, married individuals are more sexually satisfied than single individuals. That being said, I have been happily married for several years now. In fact, I’ve been married for the entirety of my blog’s existence. I won’t go into it any further for fear of my wife’s reprisal. ;)
 

“These are the sort of w ackos who gun down their fellow students at university.”

I’ll echo Bruce Clay on this one. What could drive any reasonable person to make such a rude and politically incorrect statement? Statistically, I’ll concede there are enough bloggers out there that a few are bound to be psychotically antisocial. However, the vast majority of us are just average people who’d never dream of such a thing. David should be ashamed for such a grossly rude statement. Nice typo on “w ackos,” by the way. Very professional. What was that David was saying about journalistic standards?
 

“So what’s the difference? How come newspapers and magazines have to carry the names of their editors and publishers and watch their content and websites don’t?”

Because websites aren’t newspapers. Most blogs are a one-man show. There’s no editor standing between me and the “Post” button on my blog. Sure, that means objectionable content gets distributed along with the good stuff. Again, if you don’t want to hear it, then stop reading. Nobody’s forcing it on you.
 

“…maybe it’s time the print journalists named and shamed some of the more offensive anonymous bloggers and published their physical addresses.”

More power to you on that one. I’d like nothing better than to see people who spread hate get unmasked for all to see. Whether or not I agree with what they’re saying, though, I do believe in their right to say it (at least in the United States). Freedom of speech is both a blessing and a curse, after all.

The point I’m trying to make is simple. Bloggers are not journalists; some bloggers are certainly trying to compete with mainstream media, but that doesn’t mean all bloggers should be held to the same standards as professionals. It is not useful or accurate to put us all in the same category, because most of us are doing little more than practicing a hobby.

Furthermore, not all bloggers are bad bloggers. I’ve never posted anything that could be considered hate material. I’m not anonymous and I don’t post entirely useless content. I like to think I’m just an average blogger; I talk about the things I care about and I post to my own standards. I don’t think my blog is “meaningless drivel” and I don’t appreciate being lumped together with the lowest common denominator of the blogosphere.

I can only imagine that David is venting some personal vendetta against a blogger or some blog-inspired media legislation. I can’t imagine he really believes all blogs to be worthless. After all, anyone who spends time surfing the blogosphere without bias will find both the good and the bad.

Then again, maybe David just wanted to get a rise out of the blogging community. If that’s the case, it definitely worked on me. People like this need to take a good look in the mirror before going on self-righteous rants about the evils of blogging or the superiority of traditional media.

Harry Potter Games

August 8th, 2007

If you’re considering renting any Harry Potter games, especially the newly released Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I would like the person nearest you to slap you across the face. Go ahead; ask them to do it. You’ll appreciate it when you come back to your senses.

I say this because I wish someone would’ve done the same for me. I went to the movie store recently and rented this game after a momentary lapse of judgment. Only when I went home and put the game into my new Wii did I realize my mistake.

It’s important to keep in mind that games like this are rushed through development. The developers have a hard deadline to meet that coincides with the movie’s theatrical release date. It doesn’t get the polishing and attention to detail it deserves, and so the final product is a piece of crap that scarcely resembles a good game.

Most of us know this, but we rent these games hoping they’ll be better than their predecessors. After all, we love the series that inspired them. Heck, I finished Deathly Hallows after it had been out less than a week. However, I have never played a good Harry Potter video game. Ever. And Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is no exception, despite being released on a next gen console.

In case I haven’t convinced you, I’d urge you to seriously consider the slap treatment mentioned above. If you come to your senses and don’t even bother giving this game a try, you’ll be a much happier and slightly richer person for it.