My mother is in the habit of sending me joke emails, and I thought this collection of one-liners was pretty funny in a corny sort of way.
- How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
- How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.
- How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
- How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it
- What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
- What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
- What do you call Santa’s helpers?
- What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
- What do you get from a pampered cow?
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
- What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
- Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
- Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
- Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog.
- What kind of coffee was served on the titanic?
- What is the difference between a harley and a hoover?
The location of the dirt bag.
- Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.
- What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, “Whack, dang!” A bad skydiver goes, “Dang, whack!”
- How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.